Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
