Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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