stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize