I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
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