fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
the liver wants what the liver wants
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
