Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
