you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize