HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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