My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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