do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
