It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
