Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
