And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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