So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
