i can't believe i had my finger in that
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
