she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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