from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
