We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think your dad took our porno
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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