Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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