it hurts more in the daytime
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This baby is an asshole
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
