Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
