is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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