Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize