i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize