I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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