You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
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