just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
