Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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