apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
