Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize