They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize