You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I need a burrito and a hug.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
