May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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