I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
