I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
