So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
