oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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