You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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