just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Send help, water and tortillas.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
