is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
