I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize
