i permit you to call me
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
