I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
