where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
