So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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