If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize