I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
