im drinking this country out of the recession.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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