HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize