im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
