omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Randomize