well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
is wine microwaveable?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
