wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
