he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
