So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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